Becoming a mother has always been my dream and goal in life. My dream was realized with the birth of my beautiful daughter this past February. I feel like my life has finally become what I had always hoped for, but I feel that my blessings have come at a price to others in my family. My parents have moved (with my two younger brothers) away from their beautiful Wisconsin home to a small two-bedroom apartment next to me in a lower-income neighborhood in Los Angeles. They struggle, barely making it paycheck to paycheck simply because I could not afford quality childcare for my daughter. My mother currently homeschools my brothers and watches my daughter while I work full time. My dad took a lower paying job with no health insurance that he hates---but he doesn't complain. They have sacrficed so much for me and now I find that their home will soon be in foreclosure. They have not been able to sell it, as the market is quite slow right now. Their rent here is actually more than their mortgage payment. The hardest thing they have had to leave behind though has not been the house....it's my sister and her children. She also just had a baby (her 6th actually), and none of us have been able to meet him. My sister is going through a divorce that can only be described as horrific. It's enough to make even the most religious person lose a little faith. Just weeks before the divroce began, my sister called and texted on several occasions about being beaten by her husband. She even sent picture messages of the bruises covering her body. Her husband would beat her and then tell her that if she ever went to the police, he would tell the police that she abused him and have her children taken away. She told him she wanted a divorce and he disappeared for a few days with their youngest son. We later found out that he stayed in a battered womens shelter. He quickly went to each and every lawyer within the area and claimed that he feared for his life and the children's. Each time my sister tried to speak with a lawyer, they told her since they had already spoken to the husband, they could not work with her. Those that would, wanted a significant amount of money as a holding fee. My parents took everything they could in cash advances on credit cards to pay a holding fee. That money has already run out and the lawyer won't even talk to my sister without another $1000 up front. It feels like a dream as I am writing. I just don't know how things are going the way they are...it's so surreal. The judge is friends with the husbands lawyer and they can be heard joking around in the halls after each hearing. The laws seem to keep bending in his favor and my sister's lawyer already admitted that she has no hope. Wisconsin law almost always favors the father. He has admitted to hurting the children---actually creating a child's-body sized hole in their wall at one point from slamming their son's back into it--he was 3 years old at the time. When this did come up in court, the judged ruled it: child discipline. SERIOUSLY?! How is that possible???? I mean, there has to be SOMEONE in that court system that wouldn't keep children in that situation! It's just no use....he is such a great manipulator and smooth-talker that he could convince a blind man he needs glasses. My sister is a stay at home mother with 6 children and yet he has gotten the court to demand she pay child support. He is not required to work as he is "disabled". I use the quotations because there is nothing physically disabled abouhim. He was injured while in the Marines and has recieved disablility for years. He used to boast about how athletic he really is. He cheats the government. He has two other children from previous marriages...one he gave up rights to and the other (a son) he didn't see for several years because of his terrible relationship with the mother. Oddly enough, during the divorce, he reached out to her and asked to see this son. His son came to stay with him and suddenly the mother is dead---an apparent suicide. Her body was found near the mailbox....an odd place to go when you have just poisoned yourself. Worse, two of my sister's youngest are running around the house saying "Mommy Audra killed herself" and choking their stuff animals asking, "Are you ready to die now?". Why would you ever say to a 2 year old and 4 year old that someone killed themselves? Isn't it sufficient enough to say that they went to heaven, or simply died? The sad thing is there is nothing we or anyone can do. The last text message I receivedfrom my sister said, "The stress is taking over me. I just can't take it anymore. I seriously want to die sometimes. I don't have enough money to win my kids. lies, cheats, has money, and will get my children. I tell the truth, have no money, and lose my kids." The sad thing is, she's right.
I look back at what I have been writing and rambling about and it just blows me away. It seems like a laundry list of "poor me" and "poor her" to try to get help....but I can tell you through the tears I am crying right now is that it is not. In fact, there is SO MUCH MORE I could add, but I just can't anymore. The truth is, I don't expect anyone to actually help out. The people with the heart a desire to help are always those who suffer themselves....they understand, but because of their suffering, have nothing to give but support. There might have been a glimpse of hope in me when I started but as I write and am reminded of what is actually happening, I realize that not only have I lost faith, I have none left. This is just a way for me to vent and cry and vent and cry and vent and cry.....I've got to get it out somehow.
My Name is Bonnie I'm In the middle. My Oldest sister is Martha she's The one with the glasses. My sister Rosie is on my left. My sister Martha ( The one with glasses) Is 49 years old. Martha is a very giving person. A great Mom Of 2 kids, Great sister Of 5 siblings , Loving Daughter. Martha gave my Dad a kidney years ago . That saved his life He lived another 18 years Because of her. Martha found out she had Breast Cancer. She Is very strong willed . She had surgery and radiation treatments. She has no job at this time for she is still trying to heal. She has medical bills and needs Help paying them. Martha never ask anyone for help . But You can always be sure she would be the first one who is there to help you in time of need. I Love my sister very much and wish I lived closer to her. If there is anyone who can spare even the littless amount to help her ease her burden I ask you to please do so. I ask all other to please put her on your prayer list. Thankyou I LOVE her very very much. Thankyou again. God bless you . Bonnie Jean
